Missing you because of who I was when I thought I had you.

Once again left in the loop

Alright. You got what you wanted I guess. Times have once again switched to where I'm the dumb one & got reeled in to another sappy love story. I really thought this was gonna end great. I had high positive hopes & it got blown away. I honestly don't know what happened or what I did. I almost want to try & forget it. But I can't. I thought the connection was there this time. We went from talking a lot, to talking a lil to none. & I don't know why. I was hoping it was because you were busy. I know you have constant work schedules. But I know you've been able to chat some. It's ok. I'm a big girl. Just figured I deserved an explanation. I would have given you one. I'm a pretty upfront chick. I tell it how it is & if it's not something you agreed with that's ur choice.
I felt like we had it. The attraction, the common likes, they same aspects of life, the romantic out look. it was there. Rather I saw it or u didnt. I'm always going to be there. Thinking of what I did wrong. & that is on you now. Until I find out otherwise.
My broken necklace on ur dresser will haunt ur room LoL!

Our first

You kissd me for the first time on your way out for an outside drunkin piss :-) We were all sitting at the table, some of us partially more drunk than the rest. Your lips were soft but firm on mine. It was an out of know where kiss, but something I wouldn't want to forget. When you came back your shyness appeared again. It was cute, you were cute. Occasionally staring into my eyes as I took sneak peeks when I didnt think no one was thinking to see.
Everyone told me that you mention me a lot. I was informed by some you couldn't stop mentioning me. It made me smile.
I remember us flirting. You pulling me in your lap. Your arms wrapped around me. It just felt right. I tried to kiss you but you wouldn't let me. You told me you were afraid to show me how you felt about me. Scared to let go. Se sat at that table & you poured your heart out to me. You told me you forget about her when you think of me. You asked me who I was. Where I came from. What I wanted. And why you.
You make me smile. You give me something to think about when I'm in all my moods. Happy. Sad. Lost. Forgotten. The thought of putting you in my life almost seemed it could complete it or maybe begin it. I know it sounds of the wall deep. But that's part of who I am. When I let I out, I just let it out.
The 2nd moment I will always remember is the way you moved my hair out of my face and leaned in & kiss me. I know you were drunk. & I hoped u cld remember this moment. But even if u didn't it meant something to me.
You still played shy. But when you touched me it was like that part of you disappeared. Even for the slightest moment.
I figured this moment was meant to be remembered. Even if there was a slight possibility of you remembering.

The thought of it all seems crazy. But the times we share the craziness seems to just go away.