Ok. So this is it, huh? Well I am one to write my thoughts down but not to type them. I guess I am always afraid of who will actually read it. Mainly a good handful of people. People that prob don't even care what I am doing. I know it's gotta be stupid, but it's whatever!
I am just a small town chick that lives in Midlothian. I am currently wrkn at Blockbuster (no lame as remarks please).
Hmmm...let's see. Since I should be getting ready for work I will try and make this quick.
I have an AMAZING son Jasper Cole Wright! He is my one and only! And I think right now, he is the only one that can make me smile. I have a great family. And a pretty good amount of friends. Mainly text/FB friends. I don't get out really. Between work and Jman, my schedule is pretty much set. Sometimes I like it like that, but I do have my moment.
I'm a writer, a photographer, a reader and a HUGE dreamer. (non professional) I tend to always imagine, "what if". I know it's insane, but it's what makes me sane for the most part.
I dream I have a great lifestyle. I dream I have someone that loves spending time with me and accepts the fact I am going to have Jman always in my life. I dream that i will go to school and make lots better for myself. I could dream on forever if I allowed myself to.
Love is my big prob. LOVE. What is that? Does it exsist for a woman and a man? Love. Hmm...I think about it all the time. It's droven me crazy since my first real relationship. A lot happened in that relationship a 15year old shlouldn't really have to go through. But it did happen. I think that's what ruined me and my life view. I have never blammed anyone but myself. That is because i chose to do what I did and no one could have made that decision but me. I think "things happen for a reason" but that "what if" has always popped into my head. I push it aside though. As well as everything else. Love. Huh. I always thought the guy I am "with" right now had that. We lost it though. How do you lose love? Can you?
Well i have ran off subject.
I continue that another time. Trust me...that's my specialty. Questioning love.
I do know one thing. I REALLY love Jasper. And I know every mother has to love their child. I can tell you one thing. The feeling you have, when that baby is placed in you're arms 9months after it's been inside you is incredable. Undescribable. It's a feeling no one could take back, change or forget. If that's not love, I will find out what it is and never let go!
Well this is what's going on in my head right now.
And I will be back on next time, hopefully with something more positive.
Hollie
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