it's happened.

 The moment it happens...it's almost too late to take it back.
 It's almost like a permanent promise to your heart that isn't returnable after a certain point.
 Holding back makes it so much harder and taking it in makes it almost unbearable. You can never really know what to expect but you have to take that chance of just letting it all in.
 Accepting what's happening right now. Accepting what's creating itself for the future. And knowing you will be blindsided the whole way.
 That feeling will make it all the hundred times better to take chances and just leap into it.
 I have been holding on for too long. Longing to find that feeling. And never really know how to just accept it. I have chose to accept it now. And it feels all and then more of what I expect.
 It is tearing me up from the inside out but in a good way pulling me towards the one thing I truly want to accept. It is breaking apart the bearer that has been up for so long. And it's going full force to rebuild what was damaged so everything can created fresh and new.
 Time has set still. Time has allowed me to hold on just enough to feel this again. I want to think it's just that one thing. But I know that it's more than that. I know it's that, times so much more of what I have been afraid of. I have been holding back for so long. I didn't think it was no where near possible that anything like this could happen again. And now it's nothing I had expected to feel.
 Knowing that time will tell more. Knowing time will show all. Knowing things will be harder to grasp but even harder to let go. And knowing that if I let go just once, time will catch up and I could lose it all before I could even have it.

 It sneaks up on you so fast that I didn't see it coming. Blindsided by what you hoped to control but it was just too strong to block.
 Once it's there, it's there and no matter how much you wish for it to stop because you're so afraid, you hold on to it even more because you are afraid.
 There will be fear. There will be tears. There will be happiness and anger. There will be so much more feelings that you could ever imagine. But you take in those emotions. You accept what is happening because letting of something so strong as this....?....it's too much to lose. Too much to let go. Too much of a chance to make it the biggest "what if" of your life.

They say "it's never too late to let go and turn it all around"....I beg to differ. I have hit that "too late" mark...and it's the best feeling in the world.

I have fallen...and still is. And I hope I continue falling.

Forever.
Always.
And....forever.