New least favorite question of all times!!

"Hey is Jasper going to be home tonight? ;-)"

Ugh!!!

-hollie

someone for me??

I am not one of those chicks that can just turn to someone and tell them how I feel about them. I have the moments where I wish I could because so much could be told from things going through my head. Stories, novels maybe :-)

Let me explain an example.

I have been chatting with a friend (whom will remain anonymous at the time) about someone I have been slowly gaining a liking to. (that person as well will remain anonymous) Yes i know, people hate secrets, but these are my thoughts, not yours. I can't share everything or it would ruin the fun of it. ANYWHO!...there is this person I have been beginning to like and I am not sure what to take about making something happen. It's kind of one of those things that i feel could end badly if actually happening. (in my opinion) The person I am seeking advice from has been telling me to go for it.
1.) because they know the person and they actually believe something good could happen

&

2.) because he thinks that the other person has the right to know rather they reject my feelings or not

(I say that what they don't know won't hurt them)

I can honestly say that this person is someone no one can really imagine anyone feeling anything for except for friendship or rudeness. The personality is something that I can relate to. The way I think and the way they think just clicks, at least in my feelings.

There are some major conflict when it comes to something actually happening. Despite that, my friend continues to push it. One of my co-workers told me a few days ago..."there's no time frame for falling in love" I'm not saying I'm in love. I'm saying that rather I care for this person or not I shouldn't wait it out to see what happens. Without my 2 cents, there wouldn't be anything.

So, even after thinking of what to do, I still don't want to go up to this person and spill my thoughts on why I think we should go catch a movie or get something to eat. Just a date, something to form some kind of "relationship" other than what we already have. (which I can't share that part either)...(Man this secret thing is starting to bug me)

hmmm...?

Well last night I had a nightmare and this person was in it. They didn't do anything wrong, or anyting to make the dream a nightmare. I was just with them, spending time with them, and something bad happened. (waking up in a scream and kinda shaking is never a good thing) So in this dream I had been on the first "date" and something horrible happened to Jasper. The day was perfect, & then I found myself in fear because something had happened while I was out with this person. Maybe it's the fear of dating...? I don't know.

So this concludes my rant on this subject. For now.

Thanks for reading.

Hollie

sorry...guess it's one of those "dreams" posting days

So just recently I had a dream of a co-worker I've worked with. When I looked it up in the dream dictionary it said that it could be 2 things...
1.) you're deep down attracted to the friend and wish to further on the "relationship"
2.) you're not getting fully satisfied sexually with your spouse and wish to find elsewhere with someone you feel connected with or spontaneous with.

WTH!!

Considering the fact I havn't really had much of a "sexual" relationship in a bit I guess that could be it.

I've done the whole "relationship with a co-worker" before and it got in a relationship (which we both wern't looking for, just beni-friends) and it ended up lasting 4years!! I wouldn't mind a relationship, considering I am about to be 25...but right now that's not what I'm looking for.

Friendship is all I care for now for anyone. (course you never know what can happen)

Anyways!...losing focus!

The dream was sexual if anyone cares, but it wasn't hard-core, rip your clothes off, sexual. It was, cuddly sexual. (if that makes since) It was enjoyable in the dream but weird ed me out when I woke up.

I can't admit who it is. It will have to chill in my secrets at the moment until further thoughts.
Dreams are just so weird when it comes to trying to figure out the reasoning of it.

LoL!
Maybe I am sexually disturbed!

Peace!

dreaming of the same thing for week now??....

so for the past 2wks i have been dreaming of zombies. Zombies taking Jman away and zombies chasing us....its just freaking me out.

so i googled the dream dictionary and it said this:

"To dream you are being attacked by zombies, indicate that you are feeling overwhelmed by forces beyond your control. you are under tremendous stress in your waking life. Alternatively, the dream represents your fears of being helpless and overpowered."

hmmm...???

I also talked to one of my friends from work and he also told me he has been having dreams as well about zombies. CRAZY!!! 

im thinking that maybe work is the main cause of this at this point but it is also somethings at the house that i have been stressing over. 

Dreams are so weird!! & whats wierd some more is that I love dreaming! 

Hollie

Missing you because of who I was when I thought I had you.

Once again left in the loop

Alright. You got what you wanted I guess. Times have once again switched to where I'm the dumb one & got reeled in to another sappy love story. I really thought this was gonna end great. I had high positive hopes & it got blown away. I honestly don't know what happened or what I did. I almost want to try & forget it. But I can't. I thought the connection was there this time. We went from talking a lot, to talking a lil to none. & I don't know why. I was hoping it was because you were busy. I know you have constant work schedules. But I know you've been able to chat some. It's ok. I'm a big girl. Just figured I deserved an explanation. I would have given you one. I'm a pretty upfront chick. I tell it how it is & if it's not something you agreed with that's ur choice.
I felt like we had it. The attraction, the common likes, they same aspects of life, the romantic out look. it was there. Rather I saw it or u didnt. I'm always going to be there. Thinking of what I did wrong. & that is on you now. Until I find out otherwise.
My broken necklace on ur dresser will haunt ur room LoL!

Our first

You kissd me for the first time on your way out for an outside drunkin piss :-) We were all sitting at the table, some of us partially more drunk than the rest. Your lips were soft but firm on mine. It was an out of know where kiss, but something I wouldn't want to forget. When you came back your shyness appeared again. It was cute, you were cute. Occasionally staring into my eyes as I took sneak peeks when I didnt think no one was thinking to see.
Everyone told me that you mention me a lot. I was informed by some you couldn't stop mentioning me. It made me smile.
I remember us flirting. You pulling me in your lap. Your arms wrapped around me. It just felt right. I tried to kiss you but you wouldn't let me. You told me you were afraid to show me how you felt about me. Scared to let go. Se sat at that table & you poured your heart out to me. You told me you forget about her when you think of me. You asked me who I was. Where I came from. What I wanted. And why you.
You make me smile. You give me something to think about when I'm in all my moods. Happy. Sad. Lost. Forgotten. The thought of putting you in my life almost seemed it could complete it or maybe begin it. I know it sounds of the wall deep. But that's part of who I am. When I let I out, I just let it out.
The 2nd moment I will always remember is the way you moved my hair out of my face and leaned in & kiss me. I know you were drunk. & I hoped u cld remember this moment. But even if u didn't it meant something to me.
You still played shy. But when you touched me it was like that part of you disappeared. Even for the slightest moment.
I figured this moment was meant to be remembered. Even if there was a slight possibility of you remembering.

The thought of it all seems crazy. But the times we share the craziness seems to just go away.