Thinking back on what I expected it to be like makes me laugh right now. Things happen & sometimes you jst gotta pushed it aside & let it go before it ruins you completely. I was almost there. I almost ruined everything.
Tonight I FINALLY got to chill with my sister & hangout with some people. GROWNUPS! Hehe! I enjoyed it a lot. I believe that I was a bit awkward at it since it's been years since I've really socialized. I felt like I was finally released into the wild & not sure how to act. I wanted to scream for happiness. Let alone, it was only poker after Jman's game but it was something for me :-))
I have noticed I still have my flirt on pretty good. (at least I believe I do)I talked to my sis bout a guy I have been chatting with for awhile & she wsnt upset bout it but it made me feel better she wasn't against the fact if something was so happen. Hehe! I've been waiting to find someone I cld share information with that dsnt put me down for stating my opinion. Or someone that's interested in what I enjoy & not put me me down making a comment bout my stupidity or something in that sort. I want to let lose & get back to who I was. So far this person I've been sharing my time with has allowed me to be me again. I'm sure I'll figure out I have friends still out there. But knowing someone who has basically been here all along & finding out we share common stuff & enjoy the company of others & our kids makes ms know that the life I was living wasn't worth trying for. I deserve better. & when i find myself enjoying myself?...everyone else out there will see me too.
Today has been a great day. Spending my day with Jman. Having his party with friends & family. Then ending it with a great night with chill people & a person I may be shy with now in person but wanting to get to know in the future :-)
Heres to a great day for me & my people!
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