Last night I had a dream of you.
I woke up believing I was in your arms once again. And woke up alone.

This week has been a little better than it was last week. Of course this is the first "official" week that I will be spending it as unemployed. Losing my job has been more and more rough on me. It seems that I can't do anything until my surgery is done. If I do decide to have it. My mom doesn't think that I should have the surgery. I don't know if it is because of the risks...or because of the money....or just because. She believes that if I work on my weight and diet then I will be ok. That it will allow them to disappear. I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I know if I have it, it will be done and over with and I can not have to worry about it anymore.

It's weird how things happen.
How things in your life can just change.

I am losing track on who I am.
Who I can be. And who I want to be.

At this moment there are only a few people in my life now that I am truly happy with. Not many things have been. But knowing I have them in my life?...has made this last weekend so much easier to cope with.

So tonight I may dream of you with your arms wrapped around me. Deeply knowing that it's not really you. But just having that dream makes it all worth while until I can see you again.