selfish

Sitting here outside thinking of what to do next.

What's my next step?

All I can do right now it think.

Think why?

Why did I get chosen to deal with things like this?

I know that I am not the only one that has to deal with it.

But I am having a selfish moment I guess. I already have way too much to be dealing with than adding this onto what all I have to deal with.

I am moving on with things in my life. Things that took me years to finally do. I used all my strength and power to make those steps in my life. Taking a path is just going to distant me in the direction I am wanting to follow. Sometimes I just want someone to assure me that things will be okay.

I am scared I am not going to have a job soon. I am scared that I will then lose the things I have been struggling for. Sometime I think that I am all alone in this. Knowing I'm not. I know that I have people in my life that care for me and are willing to help. But non of them are willing to take the time to listen to what's going on inside me. I used to have my sister here that I would talk to constantly about things. But since she moved...I don't really talk to her anymore. At least not as much as I used to. I miss her.

I'm sure I have heard "don't worry about it" TONS of times! But I do. I can't help it.

I feel around this time is when my life falls apart. Things happen to where I have to start all over again. I can't do that again!